I wanted to do something different on my page,I was reflecting on my feelings from when i was a teenager and what would i tell myself then that i understand now?
I realized now that when i first entered high school, I just wanted to be liked! I was 14 and in a new city, my parents split after many 20+ years together, I had no friends, and my mother had a new man in her life and i was confused about everything!! I’m a native of the bay area and my mother moved me with her to a new city called Stockton, Ca; I was the youngest of 4, therefore I was the only child in the house which was different for me. I started school two days after moving and I never went to school with kids of my own race, I was normally the minority. I was ostracized that first year for how i spoke, dressed, and acted because it was different from their upbringing. They seen me as “white washed, extra, booshie”. I wasn’t none of those things but i wanted to be accepted and to get along with everyone, i just kept quite to let the lies die down. I would have told myself Jaime never apologize or feel guilt for being yourself because of how you chose to speak, act or what you wore. Its not about what they call you but you not allowing the lie to become true! You never was tying to be better then anyone, just becoming the better you. You can’t trust everyone, some are not worthy of your kindness and believe your weak because of it, your stronger then you know.
Your a beautiful, intelligent, respectful, creative soul and there is nobody like you! Stop looking at other people’s blessings, then allow that to dictate your life and see yourself as less worthy because you feel you haven’t crossed the finish line like everyone else, you never knew what journey it took for them to get there. It took me a while to understand that but I am not better or less than anyone but realize God made you a specific way for a purpose,you will change this world even if you don’t realize it yet! Do not bite your tongue anymore to please other’s and suppress your own feelings then get upset when they never knew. Use your voice it’s more powerful then you’ve ever known! Now I understand and appreciate why I had to go through this to build me for the young woman I am today! I hope this inspired some of you all!